Her hands kissed my arms.

It was hours before midnight, a longing satisfied, a feeling birthed.


The night scintillated with stars, beauty rained from the heavens.

She wore the most beautiful smile I had ever seen,

She was simply breathtaking in her blue frock.

I had pictured her in my arms for eons, dancing under the light of the moon,  walking under the light of sunrise.

We sat on the stairs of her apartment, talked for hours, and when it came time to say goodbye, the moment was painful.

I wanted to look at her all night, and listen to the sound of her voice.

It was music.

The tune of her breath, the intermittent laughter, the beams of elation that stirred her face. I was looking at my sun, and she was divine.

I wanted to hold her in my arms, feel her heart beat, strum her hair, color her heart with love.

It was a longing; it grew faster than a wildfire.

I buried it.

I burrowed my longings in the bloody indents of my mind, and heart.

I let it go.

The torment of wondering night and day, swallowed by whispers of yearning.

The dreams never got me far, maybe far enough. The constant emptying of my head and heart, rumblings of chaos, flood of sadness, feast of loneliness.

I wanted to be with her.

I remember feeling lonely in the daylight, like a mannequin.

Decorated with beauty, empty, and without sentiment.

She did not love me, liked maybe, or maybe nothing at all, but she was a storm in my heart.

Storm that ruined my shelters, and the  sanctuary I had built in my mind.


A sanctuary for all the feelings, and thoughts, and longings.

Sanctuary for all the fears I had of losing her, when she was not mine.

I had a crush on her smile, I was in love with her heart.


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